Little victories

My speech seems to get better every day and I’m noticing a trend where it is better in the evening but tends to falter mornings and nights. When I concentrate, though, I don’t sound like I’ve been hitting the sauce.

I think I’ve come to realize that learning how to write again may be the most frustrating exercise. I can see precisely every error I make. And I see the lack of progress. And for anyone who knows me, you surely know that I like to be able to do things correctly the first time. Hell, I didn’t walk until I was over 14 months old. My mom was worried that something wrong so she took me to the doctor. She explained that I would walk if I was holding someone’s finger but if said someone would let go, then I would just sit down. He reassured her that nothing was wrong with me, that I just wanted to know that I wasn’t going to fall. Obviously I did fall but not often. Ironically, I was one of the clumsiest kids (and adult for that matter) but not for the first few years. But all that aside I like to be able to do things well the first time out and I get frustrated easily when I cannot achieve that goal. I do the stereotypical angry crumbling of the paper and throwing it in the trash can. Ya know how you can feel someone staring at you? Well, the paper stares at me from inside of whatever wastebasket happens to be the papers’ temporary home. So I end up doing the even more stereotypical retrieving of the paper and trying again. Sure I could start on a fresh sheet of paper but 1) the paper seems to hold some significance of the struggle and 2) just because I had a stroke doesn’t mean I should stop recycling. The world goes on even though I’m stuck.

Sadly the biggest excitement has been finding out how to get the residue from the sticky pads off of my skin. That sticky stuff is remarkable. I would say I’d like to shake the hand of the man who combined the ingredients it takes to make something so adhesive but honestly I’d be afraid to touch him. And there’s nothing like an adhesive to show you how dirty you could be. I mean the dirt that accumulates on those sticky spots is unbelievable. Thank God we have skin to repel all of that craziness. It has definitely heightened my appreciation for cleanliness. But I digress. I was excited to find the sticky remover and vigorously removed any remnants of the hospital visit as quickly as I could.