A lot more progress…

So on Thursday I went to the grocery store all by myself. Now this is a big, big step for me for a number of reasons. Let me dive into a bit of back story here. After the accident in 2005 I started experiencing symptoms of an anxiety disorder. It has fluctuating between worse and better for 3 years. But basically I rarely leave the house and when I know I have to, I usually get hit with a nasty little panic attack. A sure trigger for a panic attack has been going to the grocery store.

Bless his heart, Kelly has been doing the grocery shopping since we’ve been together. In fact, Kelly has been doing almost everything since we’ve been together. Well, now after the stroke even more is on his plate. And like the trooper he is, he endures. But I intend to write all about what an impact that has made on me later. What I want to say about it now is that I see everything he’s doing, everything he’s been doing and the toll it is taking on him. And it hit me. I need to suck it up. Panic attack or no, I need to help this poor guy out.

So I went to the store. I recognized the precursors for the panic attack and I took a minute to call Kelly and he calmed me down. Talking to him always does. If nothing else, it distracts me from the racing heartbeat, hyperventilation, etc. So I held on to my little list and made it through the store. I only dropped a few things. And I didn’t feel too badly because a man working there, restocking the apples, managed to knock over a stack of empty boxes on me. Poor guy. He felt so badly about it. I just reassured him that dodging boxes keeps me on my toes.

Overall, I’d mark this one up as a success.