Let’s say that you have an interview for a position you want badly. Let’s say that it went well and they called you back for a second interview. Let’s say that for normal people, this is a great thing. Let’s recognize that Missy is not a normal people and this is the perfect chance for Missy’s Law to jump in to play.

Some of you may know my history of dental drama. An aggressive bacteria snuck into my mouth (we figure while I was in the coma) and has been eating away at my teeth. It starts inside and then moves to the enamel on the outside of my teeth. No amount of Listerine will kill this bacteria. So I’ve been doing my best (and my wallet’s best) to just pick up the pieces (no pun intended) and see what can be done.

Currently I’ve had several teeth extracted and root canal treatments performed on several others. Now, normally, following a root canal a crown is placed on the tooth. But when crowns come in at $600 a pop, we find alternatives. Creative dentists “create” teeth out of filling material and call them temporary crowns. Let us focus on temporary.

Knowing those two bits of information can you guess what happened? Well, I’ll tell you what happened. My front tooth the night before the interview decided its time was through and that it was time to vacate the mouth o’mine. So out it came in a piece of food I was eating. Horrified? Yes, I was.

So now I’m sporting the hillbilly look.

Just call me Elly May.

Well, before the interview I called my dentist and they got me in amazingly quickly when I said my tooth fell out. They tried some cement (sounds promising, right?) to adhere the temporary back into my mouth.

Yet before the interview even began, I felt the wiggle signifying that cement is not the answer. So I’m talking to my dear friend Joan before the interview and she tells me what she thinks I should do. Joan is very to the point, no bush beating around her. She says just tell them if my tooth comes flying out, it’s because my temporary crown has come loose. This seems to make sense. Rather than worrying myself half to death over it, just explain it.

So that’s what I did. And it went well. Really well.

I head home and pop out the tooth that has been trying to pop out all day when I get this random invitation from someone I’ve been emailing with back and forth on line. She has an extra ticket to see Amy Ray the following night.

I tell her I have a confession – which scares anybody who meets online. Before I get my story out, she writes “Do you have a horn growing out of your head?” I realize I like this girl even more. I make my confession. She states she doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry for me. She says she can wait to meet me when I feel more “put together.”

Now I want more than ever to feel put together. I try my friend Jen’s suggestion of nail glue as a temporary fix. It works as a temporary fix. Jen’s solution to most everything is “nail glue.” She’s pretty remarkable because she’s usually right.

Here’s my hang up. She’s cute, obviously nice, going to a show that will inevitably have a high lesbian population, why should I think someone wouldn’t pick her up? Should I bust my ass to get ready in hopes that I will sway her attention my way rather than some random other person?

Time is an issue. Show starts at 8 and I’d have all of my getting ready process to do in order to leave. (When you look like a hillbilly, you don’t much care how your hair looks.) Or should I just be patient, not work myself into a panic attack, and meet with her next week after the dentist can fix my crown? And why am I asking a blog?